Raised In The Ways Of Men

Gwen Araujo, 17 years old, left and her mother,right, Sylvia Guerrero.
( Click on picture to see a short movie)

It seems like we’ve come a long ways in not forcing traditional gender roles onto our children. You will often hear a proud dad proclaim, “I’m going to make sure my daughter plays soccer and has boy toys to play with.” . He will insist she have the same opportunities that boys do. But how often will you hear that same dad say “I’m going to make sure my son has dolls to play with and pretty dresses? The commitment to allow freedom from gender stereo types is not gender symmetric. The assumption is that, of course girls want to be like boys, but why would a boy want to be like a girl. Pandemic in our society is the constant enforcement of male gender roles. Don't be like a girl, don't cry, don't be a “pussy”,“be a man”; we tell our boys. No matter what, “don't have sex like a woman.”, i.e., don't act or be, gay. Male intimate contact with other males, is strongly discouraged in our society, to the point that many fathers and sons will not hug one another.

What happens when a 17 year old, biological male, by the name of Gwen Araujo, defies convention and lives the life of a female? Gwen was not pretending to be a female; she was living her life being true to who she felt she really was, a heterosexual female. When she attended a party where nobody knows her past, she is enthusiastically accepted. For the first time in her life, she was able to openly socialize with men being true to herself. When the men become sexually interested, should she tell them about herself? Would they understand? How can she tell them after being intimate with them? How will her new friends react when they find out?

Paul Merel, Jose's older brother and Nicole Brown, Paul's girlfriend at the time,
and Emmanuel, Jose's younger brother. All were at the party that night.

Suspicions about Gwen's gender grew, on the night of the party. Gwen was repeatedly asked, are you a man or a woman? To which she answered "Isn't it obvious". Later Nicole Brown forcefully examines Gwen in a bathroom and she screams "I felt balls! It's a fucking man!". Then all hell broke loose. Paul Merel, Jose Merel and Michael Magidson had all been intimate with Gwen. Paul describes his brother Jose, as devastated, crying, saying "I can't be gay". Nicole and Emmanuel try to console Jose. "You can't be gay, you played football", Nicole tells him. Michael, a product of a Christian education, puts a choke hold on Gwen. Jason Cazares has to pull Michael's arm off of her. Emmanuel tries to help Gwen escape out the front door but is stopped. They defendants are outraged that a "gay man" would do something like that to them. How could "he" trick them into having gay sex? Jaron Nabors and Cazares get in their truck. Cazares says "We are going to get shovels. We're going to kill the bitch.". There were seven people at the party that night, any one of them could have stopped what happened. Why didn't they? Under what other circumstances could you imagine seven young adults acting this way?

The community was outraged as vigils, marches and speeches were given all over the nation.

From left to right, Tony Serra, Jason Cazares's  
attorney, Gloria Allred, Sylvia Guerrero's attorney, 
Prosecutor Chris Lamiero

Tony Serra describes the case as " deception and sexual fraud ". Gloria Allred describes it as a brutal example of hate based crime. Prosecutor Chris Lamiero describes it as case of an alter ego and first degree murder. Who is right? What will a jury of the defendant's peers decide?

In the first picture,from left to right, Gwen's Aunt Imelda, Gwen's Mother, Sylvia Guerrero, and her Uncle David, talking with reporters. In the second picture, is a younger Gwen with her two younger brothers, Michael and Brandon.

Gwen came from a loving, close family. Her mother, Sylvia, lost her job, her boyfriend, was financially ruined and is suffering from clinical depression because of the tragedy. Gwen's Uncle and Aunt are trying to some how put their lives back together. Gwen's siblings, Pearl, Michael and Brandon, are still suffering from the loss of Gwen. But Gwen's family is not the only family suffering. The Magidsons, the Merels, the Nabors and the Cazares families are all suffering the loss of their children to the criminal justice system. They were amazed that the children they knew to be good boys would be involved in something like this. They didn't have a violent history. They would never do something like this. Jaron Nabors and Jose Merel both have families, with children of their own. At the end of it all you have one teenager whose life was tragically cut short, four young men spending the better part of their lives in jail, and seven families that will never be the same and a nation that felt their pain. Nobody wins in this kind of tragedy.

Transgenders often date and marry inside the heterosexual community. The above scenario has played out many times before, not just in America, but all over the world. Without better communication, as the number of transgender people continues to grow, this kind of tragedy may become depressingly common. This documentary investigates the tragic consequences of when two different world views come crashing together. It examines how society enforces and trains young men in gender specific roles. Why couldn't the men at the party understand the person they have discovered? How could Gwen have anticipated the gravity of the situation she was in. We take a close look at the negative impact gender stereotypes have on victims, their perpetrators and the subsequent devastation to their families and loved ones.