In mid-October of 2002 I was drawn to the unfolding tragedy of Gwen Araujo’s death. At the onset, as a parent, my heart went out to Sylvia Guerrero and her family over the loss of her child. The death of any child is painful and this experience was emphasized by the brutal nature of the murder…and the reasons for it.

I went to the Rally at Memorial High School where Gwen’s Mom spoke, shortly after Gwen’s body was discovered. She was quite emotional. Who wouldn’t be? She had just lost her baby and she was spent, but she had the sense of purpose that only events of this magnitude can bring. She spoke from her heart about the life and the death of her daughter. She spoke of tolerance for gender variant people and acceptance by our communities. I could feel her pain, 20 yards away.

Intolerance can be deadly! Transgender people the world over, know that every time they walk into a grocery store, movie theater or public event and people stare or make fun of them, not having any idea of how painful their lives can be, dealing with Gender Identity Disorder. Staring, is a mild form of intolerance and murder is the other end of the spectrum. Only emotions are the buffer between the lesser and greater evil and who controls that?

We have little control over the emotions of others. As a police officer, I have seen senseless violence, brought on by ignorance and bias, time and time again. Society and surely we as parents, have a moral duty to educate our children, that gender difference is not a “death penalty offense.” It is not a crime and it is not a sin. It is a condition for which people suffer greatly and for which there may not be positive outcome without some form of psychological and or medical intervention. Is that really a reason to kill another human being? Do I even need to answer that question?

Gender stereotypes are important imprinting tools used by society, for good and sometimes for bad. We are parents, as educators and as members of the community, we need to teach our children that it is wrong to kill, regardless of a person’s gender difference. I know, that sounds condescending, but when you look at this case and that of any gender “different” person, what killed them was society’s attitude towards that uniqueness.

The media plays a large role in assigning qualities and mentoring societal norms. I lived through the coverage in this case. I read articles and watched reports by media professionals…..and I was ashamed at their own lack of sensitivity, tolerance and understanding of the most basic of considerations; dignity.

I watched and listened, as reporters would foster intolerance by inciting and invoking the emotions of the intolerant, by writing about, “a boy who dressed as a girl, to fool them.” I read this and had to hold back my anger for their lack of simple human decency.

These are people who derive a living by reporting on the human condition. They were putting their own “spin” on the matter, by sensationalizing events to raise reader and viewership. I know. I know. That is what the media does, because they are also making a living here too; however, it seems to me that there is a more responsible way of doing that. Accuracy, education, tolerance and decency to the family and the community, are considerations worthy of action here. Be accurate, but be fair too. Set and example for the public whose attitudes are influenced by their reporting. It is a great responsibility to live up to, but you have to set the standards…..or people die. When is the media held accountable? Should we as a community, not hold them accountable? My feeling is that we, the public, should.

I participated in a meeting with the Editorial Staff of the San Jose Mercury Newspaper in November of 2002. I felt that our coalition educated influenced them about gender issues and responsible, accurate reporting of cases such as Gwen’s. Their style of reporting has toned down and the “flavor” has changed, but as history has shown our community, that may only be until the next murder.

Gwen Araujo’s death was a horrible event. It was the darkest moment for this community and served as a reminder that we are all vulnerable and it does not need to be that way. Teach your children not to hate. The life you save, may be your own.

Shelly Prevost is my Best Friend. I have lived through these tragic events with her and we have had numerous discussions about this case and these issues. She is striving to educate the public, out of a sense of community and compassion for Gwen’s family. “Isn’t It Obvious,” is a poignant short film about a young woman, who could have given this world so much, but was killed because four men could not accept, what their eyes and senses told them; that Gwen was a beautiful Child of God.

Julie Marin